Hiii, it’s Remi here.

I’m not going to lie. This was a really hard blog post to write.

If you've been following me for a while, you know that back in February 2020, Nate and I rescued Ara, a beautiful white German Shepherd. She didn't stand a chance at the high-kill shelter — she was anxious, aggressive, and showed signs of abuse and neglect. When I first met her, I immediately wanted to give her a home where she would be cherished and taken care of. But the transition wasn’t easy.

While Ara has always been comfortable with me, she has had issues with Nate — growling, showing her teeth, biting, etc. Nate has never shown her anything but love and SPACE, but it was difficult for her to let her guard down with him.

We consulted dog trainers, talked to an animal psychic, tried CBD, EFT tapping, and other things, and while some manners improved, Ara still HATED Nate. Then, a freaking miracle happened — I reached out to renowned dog trainer Cesar Millan, and he agreed to work with Ara and Nate!

I wrote a whole blog post about the adoption story, Ara's behavior, and how the training went with Cesar, so be sure to check that out to get all the details (or watch the vlog!). After training with Cesar, we pursued additional treatments for her anxiety and other training opportunities, including working with Mark from Easy Day K9 Academy for eight weeks. You can read all about those updates here.

During those eight weeks, Nate and I thought really hard about our situation with Ara. While we've always wanted the best for her, we’ve realized that the best for her may not be with us.

Reality Set In

Reality started settling in, and I second-guessed my abilities to be a good mama to Ara. It breaks my heart knowing that we might not be the best match and that she could be happier and less stressed out in a different home.

Maybe out of selfishness, I’ve held onto for so long in hopes that she will change and accept Nate, but the truth is, it's not on her to change — it’s on me, to be a good leader to her- and that's a really hard pill to swallow.

Ara is a wonderful dog, but she is very different from Juno and Simba, and she can’t be treated in the same way as them. She's a special case, and I knew this when I picked her up at the shelter. She thrives off structure and needs constant outside stimulation and training to build confidence.

After working with Easy Day K9s, Mark for 8 weeks, he came to us with a proposal. She had been doing very well and had many breakthroughs; however, in order to keep her on the road to success, she would need a very strict routine and constant training. Mark said that he would bring her back to me with instructions on how to continue the training, or I could rehome her with one of the trainers at Easy Day K9s who had fallen in love with her. She would continue her training as a permanent part of the Easy Day K9 family.

I had to make a real honest assessment with myself. Am I the right fit for Ara? Or would she be happier in another home? Does my lifestyle suit what she needs or does she need more.

Our Decision to Rehome Ara

It was a very hard decision to make, actually one of the hardest decisions of my life. It wasn’t made out of “giving up” on Ara — that couldn’t be farther from the truth and honestly my last resort. But I knew deep down that keeping Ara would have been would have been a selfish decision. When I saw how much improvement Ara made with Easy Day K9 and the bond they had built, I knew that they had the capabilities to continue building her confidence and getting her out of her shell. It’s simple, they spent hours and hours training her, bonding with her, stimulating her every day, taking her to the desert, the snow, airplanes, car rides.. She got to experience it all. The time and energy put into her training was the result of her changed behavior.

Mark is literally one of Ara’s favorite people — she has a bond with him that she didn’t have with me. She trusts him 100% to lead her, so even when she’s in uncomfortable situations, I see her looking up to him for direction instead of freaking out and reacting.

The truth is, the problem was never Nate. Okay, let’s back up. Dogs can cohabitate with multiple people but they have their one person. I was Ara’s one person, she was my dog. Mark wanted me to understand that because from the beginning I was the one that fought for her, took her home, and spent the most time with her. So, I am responsible for all of Ara’s actions, not Nate.

Mark proved to me that with a good leadership bond, Ara can literally be passed off to anybody and be okay. Around week seven, Nate and Mark had a training session together with Ara and I saw a completely different dog! She was wagging her tail and showing off all the new things she’s learned like heel and place. It was so beautiful to see that a bond with Nate was possible for her — but at the end of the day, the responsibility falls on me to be a good leader for her and to continue putting in the time. And when I finally met up with her after the 8-week training, it was obvious that her future should be with them.

The decision came from a place of acknowledging what I’m capable of and realizing that I don’t have time to give Ara the outside stimulation and constant training that she needs to thrive. And that’s hard to admit. Dog ownership is much more than just having a dog and feeding them and giving them water — especially if you have a dog like Ara. You are essentially their parent — and as a parent, you have to put in the time to be a good leader.

The decision was super tough to make, but I know deep down it was the right one. And after meeting Natalie, the trainer from Easy Day K9s who was so excited to take Ara, I was even more relieved and happy for her.

Ara Finds Her Forever Home with Natalie from Easy Day K9s

Natalie is not only an amazing human being, but she’s also a trainer at Easy Day K9s — she knows exactly what kind of training Ara needs and can provide the consistency and exposure that Ara desperately needs.

After I met Natalie, I left with a sense of huge relief and weight lifted off my shoulders. She’s going to continue taking Ara on hikes every day and socialize Ara with other dogs and humans so that she can get constant stimulation. This is exactly where Ara needs to be, and Natalie is the leader that Ara deserves to have.

I plan on seeing Ara in the future, but I’ll never forget the day I said goodbye to her in the park. She loaded me with kisses and cuddles, and I saw her give Nate affection as well. It was a beautiful ending to our journey with her.

If you’re a dog owner — no matter if your dog is super chill or crazy anxious — it is YOUR job to be the leader for that dog in whatever capacity they need. It’s also your job to acknowledge when you can no longer provide that for your dog and do what’s best for them. I love Ara so much, I always will and from that selfless love, I made a decision to give her to a new leader so that she could be the happiest most fulfilled dog she could be.

Ara Will Always Have My Heart

Before I end this post, I want to take a moment and reflect on all the wonderful memories and things I learned from Ara:

Ara showed what patience, unconditional love, and determination truly mean. When times are hard, you can’t give up. You shouldn’t only love someone when it’s easy or convenient. Unconditional love means that you love someone no matter what, and you’re willing to do anything for them to make them happy.
Ara trusted me, even when she was afraid, and that’s the purpose of trust, right? It’s not supposed to be easy or simple. Trust takes courage, and Ara was the perfect example of that.
Ara was so, so strong — she’s been through some hard things (things that we don’t even know about), and I was so impressed by her growth with Easy Day K9s. That couldn't have been easy for her, but she doesn’t quit.
Ara taught me the importance of getting out of my comfort zone and facing my fears. Growth never happens if we stay within comfort. In order to push ourselves to new heights, we have to be willing to take risks.

Ara was always excited to give me kisses, and I’ll cherish every memory of our cuddle sessions! She was also Monkey's BFF, so I’ll have to bring him to visit her sometime soon!

I am so, so happy her new life is going to be full of structure and exposure and stimulus that she desires and thrives off of. I can’t wait to see her break out of her shell even more.

I really can’t ask for more. I am so proud of Ara, and I can let go happily knowing that she will be in better hands. She will always have my heart <3

I also want to take a moment and thank you guys. I couldn’t have gotten this far without your support and encouragement. It means the world to me, and I’m so lucky to have you on my side. If you want to keep up with Ara, make sure that you follow Natalie, @nat_easydayk9academy, and Easy Day K9 Academy, @easydayk9academy. They’ve already posted some updates on Ara, and they bring me so much joy!

And as always, if you have any questions or comments, feel free to comment below this post or contact me on Instagram, @rrayyme. You can also watch the vlog I made about my decision to rehome Ara and say goodbye.

I love you guys <3